"I wish my life was like this": Queer identity work in BL fandom

Abstract

The genre of homoerotica called BL (also known as yaoi) was created and rose to popularity among Japanese women but has since amassed an increasingly diversified audience. To understand the sociological significance of BL/yaoi in the lives of queer men living in North America and Europe, I conducted a virtual ethnography within a BL/yaoi-centric Discord server I refer to as the Yaoi Association and held interviews with individual server members. Drawing upon feminist theory, I analyze how queer men make meaning of the genre and the digital fan communities they inhabit. Interviewees often connected their experiences in BL/yaoi fandom to their journey of sexual self-discovery, as the media provided a sense of escapism and freedom, especially for those who were not open about their queer identities in their offline lives. BL/yaoi media symbolically represented a challenge to the confinements of hegemonic masculinity, depicting an alternative masculinity that is queer and emotionally vulnerable. The fan server exists not only as a place to share BL/yaoi content but as a platform for members to find an accepting community and explore their identities.